Oh shit y’all. It’s the first Friday of May, which means June is just around the corner. Why does that matter? Well, you already read the title of this blog, so you know it’s going to talk about my upcoming attendance of Con Carolinas, doesn’t take much deduction to put it all together. Con Carolinas will kick off on Friday, June 1st, but lucky you there is still time to buy tickets and book flights. What can you expect at this upcoming event in Charlotte, North Carolina?
1. The full A&D crew. That’s right people, for the second year in a row we will have the entire Authors & Dragons cast present at a convention. Steve Wetherell’s GoFundMe hit its goal, so our British member will be crossing an ocean to join me, John Hartness, Robert Bevan, Joseph Brassey, and Rick Gualtieri for idiotic shenanigans. That doesn’t just mean we’ll be doing panels and hosting our annual live game (although both of those things will definitely happen), it also means we’ll be lumped up in one space, egging each other on to stupidity. For any of our Mimic Chest subscribers, you know exactly how that’s going to turn out, and our idiocy should make for solid entertainment.
2. The behind the scenes A&D documentary. I know generally these blogs are half-joking and half-serious, as I fill the entries with real events and obvious gags, so I want to take a moment and be clear: this is real. It’s part of the reward for Steve’s GoFundMe. On top of recording our live game on video, he’ll also be getting footage of some panels we’re working (where other panelists approve of tapings), the general partying/silliness we get into, and a few bits that I’ll leave as a surprise. There might be a way for non-donators to see it eventually, but if you want to get in on the ridiculousness then you’ll have to show up in person.
3. Drew will drunk-fight a cardboard cut-out. There’s really no telling when it will happen, or how, or even what liquor will cause it (probably tequila) but based on historical evidence I have no choice but to conclude that the con will feature me getting into fisticuffs with a fake person made out of cardboard. Given my track-record, I clearly can’t promise to win, so all I can say is that I’ll make it a hell of a fight that amuses all who see it.
4. Panels! I don’t have a full schedule to release just yet, that comes closer to the actual con, but I’m happy to report that the A&D crew will be all over that panel selection. Come watch us drag down any attempts at serious discussion and probably send at least a few real topics off the rails without even meaning to. At this point, I think you know what you’re getting from this crowd. And, for those who are eagle-eyed with a schedule, you might notice there’s at least one panel that’s just the A&D authors. Make sure to come to that one, and bring beer. If we don’t kick things off by proposing a drinking game, you should still be able to come up with one on the fly.
5. John has promised to start his own Surprise Royal Rumble at some point during the con. We won’t know when, but suddenly an announcer will come over the intercom, and at that point every author in the place is fair game. Anyone who puts both feet on the floor outside the convention areas is disqualified, meaning we’ve got to shove, lift, or toss our peers, and the winner gets… probably a free book or something, we’re all cheap bastards. Will it absolutely wreck the entire building? Of course. Will it be an event no attendee can ever forget? That kind of depends on the number of concussions.
6. Steve’s first Taco Bell experience. Again, this is real. Did you know there aren’t many Taco Bells in Steve’s area of Britain? We didn’t until he mentioned having never eaten there before. As part of his trip to America this time, we’ll be taking him out to have his first Taco Bell dining experience. He’s also promised to vlog about the following experience, although hopefully he won’t shoot video of the act itself. We might end up having to burn all the footage and bury it on consecrated ground, but on life sometimes you have to take risks.
7. Shingles books in print. Want our weird series on your shelf? Um… why? Nevermind, not my place to ask. Point is, we’re planning to have print versions of our Shingles books at the con, meaning you can get a whole signed set, something that won’t exist anywhere until that convention. Hop on the bandwagon before the audio compilation sets the world on fire, and you can say you were reading Shingles before it was the cool thing to do. Even better, you’ll have physical evidence to back that shit up.
8. The bear counter-attack. Remember last year when A&D did CONtraflow, only Joseph couldn’t make it because he was up in the mountains dueling bears? Yeah, turns out the bears are kind of pissed about that. Joe’s been seeing weird claw-marks on his door lately, two “C”’s in a row, with tufts of fur left behind. Near as we can figure, that means the bears will strike at Con Carolinas. While that might seem like a reason to avoid the convention, remember, these bears aren’t looking for revenge because Joe lost those duels. And this time, he won’t be honor-bound to hold back. Basically you can watch Joe sword-fight a bunch of angry bears. Does Dragon Con have that? Shit, they’re pretty big, they might. Well, so what, ours will still be done drunker!
9. Power hours. I may not know when or which, but there will be power hours aplenty at this event. If we’re lucky and get some space, I might even be able to invite interested folks to come join us. One day, I hope to do an official one of these, but until we can figure out the legality entailed in such an enterprise, we’ll have to keep putting them together where we time allows and bringing in as many folks as we can.
10. Us. Just us, hanging out at the sales tables in-between panels. You can come get stuff signed, I don’t require you buy from me at the con or any bullshit like that. Or you can come get a physical version of a favorite book; I will have some to sell. You’re also welcome to just shoot the shit if you like. We’re coming for you folks, so we’ll be as available as possible. Whether it’s for books, a signature, or just a few words, feel free to come swing by. I love these cons, but it’s the readers who show up that really make them worth attending.