Depending on when you read this, there’s a chance that I am screaming through the air in a metal tube, defying the gods’ will that mankind stay earthbound as I complain that my seat doesn’t have enough leg room. I’ll be flying to Charlotte, is what I’m getting at here. Not just for a different region’s barbeque either, but to attend Con Carolinas with the rest of the Authors & Dragons crew. That’s right, all active players are going to be there with me, which means if you see a news story about a bunch of dudes accidentally burning down a hotel while pretending to kill elves… don’t be surprised if the next episode is broadcast from behind bars.
Until our almost inevitable incarceration, however, we’ll be out and about, having fun, doing panels, and hosting our second Live Authors & Dragons game. It may also be our first one to get live-streamed, but given our overall level of tech skill I’m not going to make any promises there. For those of you in or near North Carolina, here are some of the antics you can expect if you make it out to Con Carolinas this weekend:
-Having finished his Bear-Dueling training, Joseph Brassey will be in attendance. Now while he’s said over and over that he’s not going to wear a skimpy leather outfit and dye his hair blue to roleplay as Bjorg, I think if enough fans come by and ask where the outfit is, he’ll eventually cave. Just make sure you’re not dressed as anything remotely bear-like, from what I hear those warrior instincts are still on a hair trigger. Apparently he took the head clean off a Winnie the Pooh toy at the mall.
-Steve Wetherell is making his way across an entire ocean to join us. We think. To be honest, we’re still only sure of what he says every third word or so. He’s definitely coming, he’s on the schedule and everything, but whether he’ll arrive via plane, phone booth, or magical umbrella is yet to be determined. All we know for certain is that he’ll be there, and he sent the hotel a very proper and polite letter that more or less boiled down to telling them they needed more booze on hand. Whatever they had, it wouldn’t be enough. So if you want to meet Steve, follow the waiters hurriedly lugging armfuls of bottles into the convention, and you’ll probably find Steve, or a table of the rest of us.
-Robert Bevan has sworn to shit on something, somewhere. That one is a wild card, so you’ll have to come to every panel to see if you can catch the live show. It should also be noted that the con in no way agrees to this stunt, so it comes with the added potential of seeing someone tackled mid-dump by security. Now that’s fucking theatre!
-Speaking of panels, there are a lot of great ones to attend. I’ll post my own schedule at the bottom, but the A&D crew is going to be all over the place, including working together on one about comedy writing called “Going for Laughs”. I can’t imagine it won’t be a shitshow, so make sure to earmark that one.
-On the subject of shitshows, our second live A&D game will occur at 10:00 on Saturday night. If that seems kind of late for a panel, let me remind you what sort of miscreants play in that game. They put us at a time when all the bars would be open and drinking is socially acceptable. In other words, they know us and our audience well. We may also add some interactive elements to this game, so it can go off the rails in all kinds of directions. Don’t miss it!
-John Hartness and I have decided that rather than randomly breaking into an unexpected chokeslam, this time we’re going to book the event properly. I’ll be taking the heel role, and I’ve prepared for it by spending most of my life looking like the villain from a college 80’s movie, while John will be playing the face. Of course I’ll drum up lots of heat through the con, cursing, drinking, and just generally being a pain. Then John will give me a proper come-uppance… right through that mother fucker with the $30 t-shirts’ table! That’s right, we’re hitting that bastard again. Anyway, after the inevitable power bomb we’ll probably form a tag team for the rest of the con, battling our way through every keg the bar can toss at us.
-We might do another Power Hour. I mean, I almost certainly will, that’s how I get out of bed in the morning, but as a group we only might do another. Mostly because of timing, with the A&D panel taking over our Saturday night, the only option would be to do one Friday, or hit the Power Hour before or after the game. Seeing as that amount of shots and then beer would probably kill a fair number of our group, in the long-term it might be better to not risk it. However, if we do manage to get another one together then everyone is invited. BYOB though, Steve has been very firm about not sharing his extra beers.
-Rick Gualtieri has informed us that he will not be attending this con, technically. The Arrow of The Gods, on the other hand, will be there in full force. Whether it be shooting fake arrows at those who in no way were bothering him, awarding Junior Adventurer badges for every act of petty violence, or just popping out from behind trash cans and announcing his presence, you’ll find The Arrow of The Gods all over Con Carolinas. Until security locates him, probably, after which you’ll likely only find Rick. Holy shit, and now I get the purpose of wearing a mask!
- Jokes aside, this event will be a lot of fun, and there’s way more going on than what I can put into this single blog. So while I’ll put my own panel schedule below, be sure to check out the whole schedule (https://concarolinas2017.sched.com/) where you can sort by speakers or categories and make the most of your weekend.
My own times are below, and I look forward to seeing as many of you as possible!