30 Minute Blog

                As I sit here, bandage on my arm from a blood-draw and thirty minutes to go until I have to depart for Austin to go for my first ever public singing/reading, only moments ago did it dawn on me that today is Thursday and I have not written any fucking blog for this week. Now, given how few on the site read these things anyway, I’m sure you’re thinking “why not just skip it for a week”? Screw that, hypothetical voice that I made up, and screw you for saying it! I’m a firm believer that web-serials and blog are contracts with my readers, one where they promise to show up and I promise to have something for them. Though, in this case, what’s there will be a stream of consciousness rant pounded out in a keyboard in half an hour. Look, I said it would be here, not that it would be great. What am I going to write about in this brief snippet of literature? Pretty much all the random bullshit that goes through my head in a given week. Perhaps it will provide some insight into my psyche and… you know what, we all know trying to gussy up this free-form spewing of words is like trying to put lipstick on a duck. Fuck it, here’s a sampling of the random crap that bolts through my head.

                1. I sometimes genuinely think my dog is playing me. He picks up on all sorts of words and physical cues that he really should have no way of understanding, but then when I tell him simple things he ignores me if it’s inconvenient. Fucking hell, my dog is a teenager, isn’t he?

                2. There’s an idea for a new book slowly forming in my head, and I can already tell it’s going to be a “Pears” book. That’s what I call the pieces that are pretty much a bust commercially, but are also the most fun for me to write and usually end up being my favorites. I may write the damn thing anyway once it’s formed. We’ll see.

                3. Does everyone else feel the need to periodically drown themselves in some form of entertainment? I mean, finding a show or series or game that you throw away entire days to, willfully gorging on fantasy with only the rarest steps into the real world. If I don’t do it at least a couple of times a year, I start getting antsy.

                4. Working from home, for yourself, at 30 is one of the weirdest, loneliest experiences out there. I need to either find other slackers or people with weird work schedules, because pretty soon Six Flags is opening and I like me some Wednesday roller coasters. Ooooh, and churros. Damnit, now I want to drive to Six Flags instead of Austin. Fuck you impulse control!

                5. Damnit, I just wasted five precious minutes because Impulse control got me thinking about Saints Row, and I went to see if Saints Row 5 is announced yet. (It’s not). See what I mean about impulse control? Even in a time-strapped situation like this one, I still veer off course.  On the plus side, I stopped thinking about skipping Austin for Six Flags.

                6. Sonofabitch! Now I’m back on roller coasters. (But not in the fun, literal way)

                7. Just remembered Austin has bars, so impulsiveness squashed. On that note, how many bartenders in a neighborhood need to greet you by name before you go from “local” to “degenate alcoholic” I’m… asking for a friend. (That friend is my liver).

                8. Working on NPCs 2 has really made me miss my old college gaming group. There’s something to be said for gaming with a lot of people who don’t entirely understand or respect a system, as it leads to things that a serious player would never tolerate but ends up being awesome stories (awesome in terms of tabletop gaming). Case in point: I shall never forget when my friend ran a pirate campaign and we ended up having to fight a Dire Cookie with DR 15/Milk. We thought it was a funny, and tough, fight, until the next town over when we had to deal with a Dire Gingerbread Man who damn near wiped the whole party.

                9. Okay, real talk moment for all you kids out there thinking of getting a degree in English: College is a shit-load of fun and a big part of transitioning to the adult world, but even as a kid who did nothing but read his whole life (I used to hide books in the garage for when my parents tried to make me go play outside) I still found very little use in English classes. Generally speaking, the professors are either trying to tell why who they like is the best, or why who you like is garbage. It’s a weirdly territorial pissing contest where the loser is everyone who cares. Every book has merit to someone, whether see it or not is personal taste.

                10. And of course, on the day I have to drive 3 hours, it looks like rain. Guess it’s time for me to hit the road, thanks for sticking around this long. Thus endeth my thirty minute blog, something I will try very hard not to repeat in future weeks.