Drew's Guide to Day-Drinking
Happy Friday all you wonderful readers tuning in to my weekly blog! As you are reading this, I am driving down to visit my family and embark on a weeklong vacation to recharge and rest before the work of Year 4 kicks into high gear. Have no fear though, the vacation is only for me, not for the site. Chapters will be going up as usual.
One consequence to having such a chill time starting today is that I haven’t really felt compelled to write anything serious for the blog this week. Thus, I decided it would be more fun to tackle an all-time classic in irresponsible adult behavior: Day Drinking. With the beginning of summer just around the corner, I’m sure a lot of you are getting pulled toward events that lend themselves to, if not outright demand, full days of alcohol consumption. Barbeques, concerts, tailgates, beach days… I know you people. I know how you like to get down. But on the off chance you’re a bit out of practice, or perhaps this is your first venture into the world of downing hooch while the sun burns overhead, I thought it might be prudent to touch on some of the basics before you all go out and start killing your livers.
Now, it goes without saying that spending an entire day acting like it’s midnight at a bar with $1 you-call-its is childish, immature behavior that no one with high amounts of self-control or common sense would deign to indulge in.
Since that doesn’t apply to anyone behind this keyboard, let’s jump in!
Water. Water is your friend, your lover, and your savior. Maybe if you’re in the early 20’s you can still get away with going pure booze all day, but unless you’ve got the blood of Andre The Giant if you’re past 25 you are going to have to fight the mighty hangover come morning. Water is your only true ally in that battle. Drink it often. Drink a lot the day before drinking occurs. Drink it constantly as you pound booze. This is a preparation step that cannot be overstated, and should actually continue through until after the day is done.
My rule of thumb is to drink one glass of water for every alcoholic equivalent to one beer (single shot, glass of wine, etc.) I used to be able to do two booze drinks per water glass, but time is a merciless fucker that continues marching onward and dragging us with it. If you’re spending a full day imbibing the sauce, you probably know your body and what it needs to be functional the next day better than I. Don’t skip it, no matter annoying it gets. The consequences shall be dire.
Stocking The Cooler
Tempting as it might be to go straight for the hard stuff, remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t be the person passed out in the bathtub by noon; whispering sweet nothings to the shower curtain even though you know it could never work out. You want to ease into your intoxication, for once time is on your side, take advantage of it.
I like to keep things coordinated to actual times that pass through the day. Starting with mimosas is a tried and true classic, plus comes with the added bonus of being socially acceptable. No one else at the brunch buffet has to know this only the beginning of your shenanigans, not unless you go to one of those bottom-less places and ignore my warnings to start slow.
After breakfast, there’s ample time to make beers, margaritas, really anything that tastes best when paired when sunshine. This will also allow you to start playing drinking games, if you run with that kind of crowd, or just keeping a nice pace with everyone.
As for when to switch to the real drinks, your group will be the ones who determine that. The most important thing is that you arrive on the decision together. You don’t want to get so far ahead of your friends that they end up having to drag you to a bed where you can safely sleep it off. This is a group effort, try and keep with the team.
So, you’ve got champagne, a few cases of beers, and mixers to get you through the day. But you want to really jump-start things with a bang, and I hear you. Sometimes it takes a big open to get people in the right mood. How to do it though?
Well, as anyone who has followed this blog for a while knows, I’m a big fan of Power Hours. That, I would save until at least noon passes though. You want them to have lunch as a buffer between their bloodstreams and the sudden influx of alcohol, lest everyone’s night ends before things even get going.
If you’re at some event out in the real world, I’m always a fan of real-life drinking games. Every time you see someone wearing a backwards hat at the beach (we also call that douchebag bingo), or a band tee at a concert… I feel like you get the idea. Sometimes it’s simply a function of your surroundings, such as at the bar where I like to go with the narrow drop out of the parking lot. Whenever people ignore the signs to leave slowly and a bumper scrapes, we take a drink, and it’s a game that is almost too consistent.
Ultimately, you know your friends and how they like to get revved up for fun. Pick something that’s best for them, not that’s popular among others. The best way to celebrate is with everyone together, having themselves a fun time. That’s what gets people in the mood to start the day right.
Day-Drinking, just like all days, will eventually come to an end. When that time comes, you must perform the dire task of herding your friends back to wherever they are staying, be it by walking or use of designated drive, and making sure they settle in for regenerating sleep. Here, just try to stay sober enough to remember your basics: buckets on the sides of the beds along with bottles of water, set people with their mouths facing sideways so if they do puke it doesn’t choke them, and if you’re feeling fancy maybe a few Tylenol to greet those who didn’t heed the water warning.
Congratulations! You had a successful round of Day-Drinking with your friends, and hopefully got through it without any fights or arrests. Take tomorrow to recover, unless you’re on a bender, in which case nothing further I can say will aid you, this is a fight you must face on your own. Ideally you had a great time spent around people you care about, because what these sorts of events are meant to be at their best.
Now if anyone needs me, I’ll be on the beach for the next week practicing what I preach. Right after I go dig up that blog with the margarita recipe…